Oh well, since I now have a reader (Hi Selina), I might as well update this. I really need to write more. Well, not so much need, not like anything relies on my updating this and I am hugely lazy

You know if I wasn’t so lazy I’d go back and fix my spelling mistakes in previous posts before I get kicked out of the grammar nazi union.

Okay, so continuing in chronological order.

Batty’s stag.

Went to Leeds, got drunk, watched the football and had a good time.

We stayed in a place that could have been the setting for Hostel 3 where those in the upstairs rooms had showers that leaked into those in the downstairs.

It was also directly across the road from a brothel, which Kenny dutifully investigated on the Saturday night before returning with horror stories of ugly Eastern Europeans and dingy surroundings.

Highlights included Kenny’s dancing and making Craig drink 19 vodkas in about 10 minutes.

Batty’s Wedding.

Flew back up to Scotland on the Wednesday of that week. BMI rather than BA which was a first and I would actually recommend them over BA. The police at Heathrow had good guns

Went over to Dundee on the Thursday night and stayed with the groom. Everything was very relaxed up all the way through to the event itself and we were wondering how it was managing to go so smoothly.

30 minutes before the ceremony though we realised that Batty had forgotten his sporran!

Luckily has dad made the 40 minute round trip to his house in the half hour time frame and the rest of the day went without a hiccup.

Lots of ceilidh dancing then I rocked out with the syncronised dance moves in the evning’s disco before heading to the casino and spunking money I didn’t have.

Next day went home and packed for New York.

New York.

Travelled to Glasgow and stayed with my two sisters on the Saturday before flying from Glasgow airport to Heathrow to JFK.

Flight was fine, flew AA but I’ll be going Virgin for trans-atlantic flights in the future.

I’ll just quickly reel off what I done in New York.

Sunday – Touchdown. New York is ghetto as fuck but it goes from being shit to being awesome in the same street and out apartment block was nice.

Monday – St. Patrick’s Day parade. Forget what people tell you it’s rubbish. Thousands of people parading up and down in stupid costumes. I could get the same thing at London Fashion Week.

Had lunch at an Outback, which is an Australian themed steak house. Steaks were good but we ordered a Bloomin’ Onion as a starter. It’s deep fried onion strips probably reconstituted to look like a chopped onion as big as your head. Ate about a quarter of it.

Went up the Rockefeller building which had some good views.

Tuesday - Natural History Museum, was there for about 6 hours and it still wasn’t long enough. It was really good.

Went to Ha’s comedy club. Cost about $8 a beer and they had a woman on headlining and as we all know women aren’t funny.

Wednesday – Metropolitan Museum of Art. Wasn’t bad, more museum than arty and spent about 3 hours there before getting fed up.

Tried to do some shopping. Again forget what people say about shopping in New York, it’s rubbish. Macys and Bloomingdales are pretty much the same as Selfridges and it’s fine if you want to spend several billion in Tiffany’s or something, but generic shopping is lame. I imagine you’ll have to go to out of town shopping malls to find something good.

Hung out in an Irish bar where we were getting beer. $10 for 2 beers + $2 tip x 3 rounds = 1x free beers. Always tip

Then we went up the Marriott hotel restaurant in the middle of Times Square called The View. It revolves and you get a view of the skyline except we weren’t on the edge and it was foggy so couldn’t see anything. Food was good but overall not a $200 dining experience.

Thursday – Can’t remember currently, I shall edit this later.

Friday – Tried to go a couple of places we couldn’t. Got to the ticket booth for the Statue of Liberty at about 11am and it was already packed out with no further groups getting to visit up the statue and a 2 hour wait just to buy a ticket.

Went to Central Park zoo, which is small but good. They have awesome small cotton tail monkeys and one of the sea lions acted like it wanted to eat the keepers at feeding time.

Went to see Drillbit Taylor at the Regal Cinema just off Times Square and the cinema was awesome. Huge with big arm chair seats.

Then went to see Spamalot, which was good, but I’d rather see it performed by people who really understood Monty Python, ie British people. There was a lot of hype about Clay Aitken having a role and I had no idea who he was. Turns out he was American Idol 2 winner or something, no wonder I hadn’t heard of him.

Saturday -  Got up at stupid o’clock to go queue at the Statue of Liberty. Got tickets and was over on Liberty Island by 9am. Statue isn’t that big comparing it with all the movies you see it in.

By the time we got back just after 10am the dock was literally covered with people, there was no way they were all getting over but they were queuing up regardless, crazy.

Then we went to see The Ringling Brothers with Barnum and Bailey circus in Madison Square Gardens. It was good, but I’d have preferred it without the animals I guess.

I had an awesome snowcone and the small girl beside me’s eyes kept popping out every time I had some.

Just went home and got a takeaway pizza, which was about 100″ and finished the beer we had in the fridge.

Sunday – Flew home.

Arrived in Glasgow 7am-ish went straight to Dundee to play poker.

DUSOP

 Went up to Dundee to take part in Dundee University Series of Poker. I sucked, lost about £80 playing stupid gambling games.

Then came home.

New job in 2 weeks.

Okay, you’re now up to date